How Harry Potter Rocked My School
by Lady Daendre
Summary: just as the title suggests. harry and his friends (and enemies) find their way to my school, and some pretty interesting adventures follow!


Title: How Harry Potter Rocked My School  
  
Author: Sparkling Diamond Satine  
  
Summary: This actually began as a role playing game my friend and I wrote together. Now I'm turning it into a fun story that everyone can read! Harry Potter and his wizard friends somehow end up in New York, USA. My very crazy friends and I intercept them and, well, the adventures that follow are quite humorous. Please read and review!!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor would I want to...he's too young for my tastes, I'd rather own Oliver Wood, or even Tom Riddle! *cough* sorry about that...yeah so I don't own anything in this story except for the non-fictional characters...I think you're smart enough to figure that out.  
  
Rating: R...no comment. You should see my school! We curse...we do random things that make things rated R....  
  
~*~  
  
i. the good, the bad, and the just plain crazy  
  
Chrissy skipped into the auditorium, because everyone knows she's always hyper after lunch and she skips when she's hyper. "Danny! Do you really think I could ever make it as Voldemort's bitch?"  
  
Danny looked at her with a blank face and said, "Uhh...I think you should stick with Tom Riddle. Voldemort of late is all icky!"  
  
Chrissy sat down and wished she had brought her copy of Chamber of Secrets, because she would hug it right now.  
  
Danny just thought about the first Harry Potter movie and began to make corny jokes about Voldemort saying things like, "It's a pity, he never had a chance...he'll never get A HEAD in life."  
  
Chrissy just shuddered and thought that some people would just never get it. She started warming up, grumbled when Mr. McCrann came into the room, and started whispering random charms she learned from watching the movie and reading Chamber of Secrets. Unfortunately, they didn't come true. McC called everyone to shut up and was about to start warming up when Chrissy saw the blur of green and red out of the corner of her eye. She rubbed it, and went to play something when she heard, "OH MY GOD!!!"  
  
Danny looked up and asked, "Someone called?"  
  
"IT'S DANIEL RADCLIFFE!!!"  
  
"You owe me 5 galleons," snickered Ron as Harry began to turn red.  
  
"Dammit!" he said angrily "WHY DOES EVERYONE DO THAT?!" "IT'S HARRY POTTER, HARRY FRIKIN POTTER!!"  
  
Chrissy scratched her head, and McC made a move to try and start the class, again. To his dismay, Draco stormed in and said, "Potter, you nitwit! I say we duel right now, even if that bloody angry man looks like he wants to tear us to shreds!"  
  
McC snapped his baton in half, went bright red and started hyperventilating on stage.  
  
Chrissy suppressed some giggles, when she turned around and waved to her trombone friend named George. She knew that McC wouldn't stop her, since the weird people were interrupting his class.  
  
George noticed, and acknowledged that he saw her he then smiled as if he had just gotten an idea. He began to play the prelude from Bach's first suite, but in such a way that Kenny G would have died, and then rolled in his grave. They both got a laugh when McC failed to notice him butchering one of Bach's greatest works, and instead, McC threw a stand at a girl with long hair who had just come out of the portal.  
  
Before the stand hit Hermione, she yelled out "Flipendo!" she then turned to Ron and Harry and said, "I knew one of you would have gotten the spell wrong. It's a good thing I found you before you got into trouble." The stand had been pushed aside with the magic from Hermione's spell. "You know, you always have to be ready in case something like that happens." Ron and Harry groaned at the lecture they were getting.  
  
Chrissy suppressed more laughter and suddenly wished she had a magic wand so she could be cool like them. She had memorized several charms and spells from reading the Harry Potter books, and would probably defeat Draco in a duel. She saw a book fall out of the portal and flop close to the stage. She dived down and picked it up before anyone else could and hugged it. "Oh Tom Riddle, I bet it's you!" she whispered inaudibly.  
  
While Danny thought about what the Latin word for booklover was, George put down his trombone, walked over to Ron, took his wand, and then poked him in the eye with it. As Ron squirmed on the floor, rubbing his eye, George poked Chrissy and said "I win!" she turned around, and now that he had her attention, he gave her the magic wand.  
  
"Whatever you're doing, it'd probably be easier if you had one of these" he said as he handed it over to her. Chrissy was reluctant to take it, but George just said, "Well, it's not like he knows how to use it anyway."  
  
Chrissy took the wand and gave it back to Ron. "If you paid any attention to the books, you would know the wand chooses the wizard, not vice versa," she said, smiling. "Sorry, he gets delusional," she said to the trio.  
  
Draco sneered and was about to do something awful when a random wand fell out of the portal. When Chrissy picked it up, she felt an awesome power summoned to her fingertips. "Woah...That was awesome!" she said, and then turned to Draco. "Malfoy, let's see just how evil I can be! I challenge you to a duel!" A suit of armor fell through the portal, so Chrissy picked up an arm and whacked him with it.  
  
George coughed, saying trademark infringement at the same time, and when he had everyone's attention, he just looked sheepishly down at the ground.  
  
All eyes focused again on the duel that was just beginning center stage. Malfoy recoiled from the impact of the gauntlet, and seeing his next move pointless, he dropped the leather glove he was holding in his hand.  
  
George had seen what had happened with the wand, and held his hand near the portal, something popped out if it; it was a DVD box that read "Hairy Popper and the Kidney Stone." George just shuddered as he threw it halfway across the auditorium and went back to watching the duel.  
  
Chrissy walked to Draco and they stood facing each other. They bowed respectfully, but taking care not to let each other out of their sight. She then lifted up her wand into the ready position as if it were a fencing tournament. They then spun around, took six steps backwards, and spun back around. Chrissy fell to the floor laughing hysterically. "I'm sorry!! It's just that you like you're about to take on Bruce Lee in an all out karate death match!"  
  
Draco had a puzzled look on his face and said, "Who is this Bruce Lee that you speak of?"  
  
Annoyed, Chrissy pointed her wand at him, and chanted "Petrificus Totalis!" He was instantly petrified. After seeing this, Chris Plaut came out from behind the tympani he was hiding near, and arranged Malfoy's body on a large ball, and used him as a balance board, eating a Tylenol gel cap every time he fell off.  
  
Chrissy cracked up, but sighed when Hermione sadly yells out "Finite Incantatem" and the charm had worn off. She thought it took more than that to wear it off, but then remembered she didn't completely Petrify him like that bloody Basilisk. Now is the time when the audience gasps because the author is turning British as she writes.  
  
Matt Silvestri walked by, made his cameo, and gasped as Malfoy yelled, "Dammit you skeezy stoner, get off of my crotch!"  
  
"Oh yes", replied Plaut in a dazed manner, "Would you like some acid covered zebra bubble gum? Yes? Have some?  
  
Chrissy got up, dusted herself off and turned to Malfoy. "I know a certain RP-er who just -adores- you! But unless you can bring me Oliver Wood and Tom Riddle...well at least Oliver Wood because Tom Riddle technically doesn't exist...okay bring me Oliver Wood then! I know several girls...and a guy who adores him. And then I'll call upon my friend and you can have a wild make out party because I know that's exactly what you want. Oh and since you can't bring Tom Riddle for me, I command you to make Harry Potter be a sixth year. Yeah. That way he's my age, and is still good-looking. Yeah I'll shut up now..."  
  
Malfoy simply chuckled and then coughed while starting to say, "How Stella Got Her Groove Back," but when he saw the look on George's face, he quickly stopped.  
  
Chrissy pouted and sat down. She randomly asked no one in particular, "Why the hell do I have to be obsessed with every male character from Harry potter...UNDER 21, thank you very much!"  
  
Danny shrugged and said, "It's a conspiracy. You see, I'm just obsessed with one person."  
  
"Shut up...I don't wanna hear about it! I was all fine and dandy until you corrupted my mind," Chrissy whined.  
  
"Oh, well you think that's corrupting?" said Danny inquisitively. "I could make it MUCH worse" he said as he ran out into the seats and grabbed something off of the floor. He showed it to Chrissy and instantly she said, "ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I GET YOUR POINT!!"  
  
Danny then gave "hairy popper and the kidney stone" to Christ Plaut, who did one of 3 things with it: took out the paper cover and applied acid to it and sold it in Hempstead, smoked the thing, case and all, or simply watched it, but in any matter, it was out of the main characters' sights and minds.  
  
Chrissy cried and ran out of the room when she bumped into two of her random RP friends, Nicole and Allie. Nicole had a certain obsession for Oliver Wood, while Allie seemed to love Draco. Don't we all... "Hey there guys!!"  
  
Nicole grinned and said, "I love days off!"  
  
Chrissy and Allie both mumbled, "Why can't -I- be in college??"  
  
Allie just said, "Okay, what's happening, you look like Tom Riddle was just killed again!"  
  
Chrissy pouted and said, "My friend tried to corrupt my mind again!"  
  
"Wait, then that must mean........." Allie started to say. A humongous smile came to her face as she looked at Nicole, who seemed to be thinking the same thing. "I'LL GET THE DVD PLAYER, YOU GET THE TV!!" Nicole screamed to Allie as they ran their separate ways.  
  
Chrissy shrugged and walked into the auditorium again. As she looked at the blank stares coming from a majority of the band members, she snickered and looked at the second year wizards that had come out of the portal. "Malfoy, I don't see Harry Potter as being my age! I will therefore have to lock you up in a room and torture you because that's what I'm good at."  
  
"Oh please," replied Malfoy, I've seen that movie a thousand times, and furthermore, I enjoyed it, how do you think it got into this auditorium anyway? It fell out of my coat pocket as I went through the portal!"  
  
Chrissy blankly stared at him and then ran out of the auditorium again, only to bump into the "memory" of Tom Riddle. "Okay, this is starting to get way too weird. What the hell are you doing here??"  
  
"What are any of us doing here?" Tom asked.  
  
Chrissy thought for a moment, the statement in itself was philosophical and thought provoking, but after a second, she just said "ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!"  
  
"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU," said riddle. "I came here because I heard that there was a sale on Yu-Gi-Oh cards at the mall...that and I read a prophecy that said I would be able to find someone who could revive me here."  
  
Chrissy raised an eyebrow and looked around to make sure no one was looking. "I have your diary," she whispered. Nicole and Allie finally reappeared with the DVD player and TV, and nearly dropped both of them when they entered the auditorium and saw Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco. "Oh...My...GOD!!!!"  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" Danny shouted. "I hate it when people think I'm theirs...I'm a person! Well...a deity..."  
  
"THIS CALLS FOR A MAD ORGY PARTY!!!!" yelled Nicole and Allie simultaneously, as New Jersey almost blew up.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!" yelled Danny apprehensively.  
  
"SHUT YER HOLE BUDDAH" yelled Ron, but before he could finish, Danny punched him in the face and yelled as he looked skyward, "I WANT WOOD, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!"  
  
As if someone heard Danny, a log appeared out of thin air and hurtled toward the ground. Allie and Nicole stifled a giggle and said, "Well, We want OLIVER WOOD, is that too much to ask?? And no, he is not gay or bi, sorry kiddo," Nicole said. Allie smirked and ran up to Draco. "If you were older...I would ask you out. But that looks pretty bad..."  
  
"DAMMIT, WHY DO ALL THE LADIES ALWAYS SAY THAT? TOO YOUNG THIS, TOO YOUNG THAT, TO YOUNG TO......(IMPLIED)......AND WITH A WIFFLE BALL BAT!!" Disgusted by this outburst, Ron used his magic wand to change the mailing address on Draco's subscription to Playwizzard magazine to his own address.  
  
Chrissy looked into tom riddle's eyes and said, "If you just tell me how I can bring you back to life...I will do it." She felt a hand tap her shoulder and looked around to see a familiar looking guy that also came from the Harry Potter universe. It was Oliver Wood. "Oh, some girls are stalking you. You might want to be careful."  
  
Oliver looked at her strangely and said, "Were you just talking to nobody?"  
  
Startled, Chrissy looked surprised, and couldn't seem to get the words out, until finally, she yelled "HERE COMES THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!!" right in Oliver's face. She coughed, looked at him, grinning, and said, "What? You look like you've seen a ghost."  
  
"No, but you might have...by the way you were talking to air," Oliver said.  
  
"SHUT UP!!" Chrissy outburst randomly.  
  
"Look," said Oliver, "We can either do this the easy way, and have a polite conversation in which I decide to help you on a seemingly pointless quest that ends like a bad "shaft" movie, or I could kill you and........." Oliver trailed off, grinning excessively.  
  
"I'll take the first option. But first, I have some questions for you. Do you want to turn Draco into a snitch?" Chrissy asked.  
  
"Uhh....No?" Oliver replied.  
  
"How about make out in our very own chamber of secrets?" she asked again.  
  
"No...."  
  
"How about I show you some obscene Italian hand gestures?"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"DAMMIT!!" yelled George as he ran to meet them, "YOU FORGOT THE PICTURE OF HUGH HEFFNER!"  
  
Oliver looked puzzled and simply asked, "Who is this oddly colored cow you speak of?"  
  
Chrissy laughed hysterically at Oliver's remark and suddenly had an epiphany, mostly to move the story along because she realized how long this chapter was getting, and how nothing was happening. "Heey we're gonna have to give these people a place to stay...aren't we."  
  
She does have a point there, old chap," George said to Oliver trying to sound British. "I guess you could crash at my place if you think you could convince my mom that you're an Azerbaijani foreign exchange student. Oh, we'll have a jolly good time, we'll watch anime, and Woody Allen flicks, and most of all, Austin Powers and other movies that make fun of British dental plans!!" said George trying to sound as repellent as possibly. To his surprise, Oliver was delighted at the idea, and George looked at Chrissy with a "Help me" look as Oliver said, "We'll have a smashing time!!"  
  
Chrissy's cousin, Leeann randomly entered, with a suitcase and said, "Chrissy, you're letting me stay over...EEEEK!!! TOM FELTON!!!" She shrieked. Draco's jaw dropped and he said. "Uh...the name's Draco Malfoy..." Leann screeched some more, and practically scared Draco away.  
  
"Well, looks like Draco's staying at my house...*gulp*" Chrissy collapsed on the floor and folded her arms across her chest, pouting.  
  
"Jollie Ollie's comin' wit me, I call, I'm not getting Ron!!" screamed George as loud and as fast as he could. Ron came in just to hear it, and even though he had no idea what everyone was talking about, by the sound of it, he still felt dejected.  
  
"Don't worry, said a seemingly evil voice as it came up from behind him. Ron looked behind him, saw Danny grinning evilly, and did his trademark "Oh my god what the hell am I getting myself into?!" gulp.  
  
Five seconds later, two more girls appeared with bags. They screeched and ran to hug the Harry Potter characters. Chrissy rolled her eyes, as they were her other two favorite cousins, Jeanette and Kimberly. Kim was still hugging Harry when she screamed out, "I want to hug Daniel Radcliffe to bits!!!"  
  
Harry looked at her, pulled out of her grasp and said, "That's HARRY FRICKIN POTTER!!!! GET IT RIGHT!!!!" Jeanette pouted when Danny said he would take Ron. "Why Can't I stay with him?"  
  
Chrissy looked at everyone and said, "Wait...we can all go to Armageddon, my summer house!! I think it fits at least 10 people in the bedroom." Before she could say anything else, everyone ran out the door to find Ron's flying car drive away. "Damn...there goes our ride," Ron said.  
  
"Who cares about your mini, it's only good 'cause it flies," said George.  
  
"It's not the size, it's how you use it," said Ron even more dejectedly.  
  
"Damn," said George, "All I wanna know is how many more cousins does Chrissy have?!  
  
"Well...I actually have 5, but we only see those once, maybe twice a year. Besides, I don't get Harry Potter related stuff for Christmas from them," Chrissy said, grinning at her cousins, who had hinted her into what they were getting her for Christmas.  
  
Draco randomly burst out singing, "Merry Christmas Merry Christmas, Ring the Hogwarts bell..." Everyone stared at him, so Draco just sunk to the ground, embarrassed. With Draco's embarrassment over with, everyone decided to hop into Chrissy's car...well technically it's her parent's but she just *borrowed* it for the day...erm...week...erm...time being. They magically were able to fit everyone, that is Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Kim, Leeann, Jen, Oliver, Danny, George, and anyone else the author had left out but can't remember because...*in unison* IT'S TOO EARLY IN THE MORNING...ERM...AFTERNOON!!!" as New Jersey came way too close to blowing up spontaneously.  
  
~*~  
  
end: chapter i 


End file.
